Jealous Ex After Divorce
A divorce ends a marriage but it does not necessarily end the emotional connections between spouses. That is why sometimes after a bitter divorce a spouse may have to deal with jealous feelings from their ex spouse. A spouse that has low self-esteem, is insecure, and fears abandonment is more likely to be jealous of their ex. Your ex-wife is likely to feel jealous when you start dating, get engaged, or when you get married. While women are more likely to feel jealous when their ex develops emotional relationship with another woman, men feel jealous when their ex-spouse has sex with another man.
Why Your Ex Is Jealous And Establishing Boundaries
It is irrational for an ex-wife to develop feelings of jealousy towards her ex-husband that is moving on with his life. Experts say that exes often feel jealous because they have a need to control others in order to feel safe. They are not jealous because they still love their ex-spouse but because of their own insecurities and anxieties.
An ex spouse may try to push your buttons when they discover you are in a new relationship or about to get married. You need to avoid such an ex and ensure that your lives are separate. If the spouse keeps trying to interfere with your life, you can get a protective order. You have every right to determine who you date or marry and should ignore your ex’s opinion about your new love interest. Your spouse must understand that your new relationship is none of their business.
How To Deal With Jealousy
You are more likely to feel jealous of an ex or deal with a jealous ex if your divorce is a contested divorce. Couples often disagree on issues such as property division and child support when they opt for a contested divorce. You can avoid a bitter divorce by opting for a collaborative divorce. In a collaborative divorce, couples actually have to communicate their concerns about the divorce with the help of experienced collaborative divorce lawyers. A collaborative divorce allows you to reach an agreement that is creative and customized.
If you are the one that has jealous feelings, you need to realize that the relationship is over and try to move on. Getting on with your life can become more difficult if you spend time thinking about your ex-spouse’s new relationships. You can deal with your fear of abandonment by consulting a counselor.
What If There Are Children Involved?
Your jealous ex may use your children to try and control your new relationship. They may complain about you children referring to your new wife as “mother” or demand that your children should not hang out with your new girlfriend. As long as you pay child support and obey visitation orders, your ex has no power over your life. Your ex-wife is not allowed to stop you from seeing your children just because she does not approve of your new relationship. In fact, if your ex tries to do this, you can take the matter to court.